Both the economy and divorces are booming in China. The Washington Post explores:
www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/world/interactives/chinafamilies/index.html
February 2008
It often baffles me how people whose marriage has no hope of surviving still refuse to let go. Common scenarios are where a wife drags out the signing of the divorce agreement or where a divorcing husband who has moved out of his wife’s home leaves a change of clothes behind.
According to yesterday’s New York Times The Advantages of Closing a Few Doors, this is common human behavior. Researchers had MIT students play a game where they literally lost money by keeping their “doors open.” Students refused to reduce their options even when it was clear that they were loosing money as a result.
Divorce is not a game and the consequences of not acting logically can be serious. By not closing the door on your marriage you may drag out an unnecessarily painful process or aggravate your spouse to the point where they cannot communicate with you. Either way, you will end up having to spend more time, money and energy on an issue that could have been more easily resolved.
Conclusion: If it’s over, let it go.
A recent study shows that hostility and depression – two emotions found in most divorcing couples – can lead to heart problems:
“There are of course mental health reasons to treat depression and hostility. Now we know there is a physical health reason — the link to cardiovascular diseases,” Dr. Stewart said.
Conclusion: One more reason to sign up for counseling.
A recent study shows that men mourn divorce differently from women. Men’s grieving often starts later than women, they miss their home and children the most (rather than their spouse) and they are less likely to verbalize their pain.
Conclusion: Men have emotions too.
I was angry with my friend:
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
