At the beginning of a divorce many people do not see themselves negotiating anything with their spouses. They feel that only a judge can justly resolve the issues arising out of the divorce. This is often not the case.
A judge does not know you. He does not know the dynamics of your marriage. Were you passed up for a promotion because of your spouse? Were you the one who put in all the effort to make the marriage work? Did you work full-time and also take care of the kids? Did your spouse get a better job through your contacts? Was your spouse irresponsible with money?
The above questions are difficult and expensive to resolve in a trial. Some questions may not even be legally relevant. Also, the judge’s decision will be based on what he considers fair, not what you and/or your spouse think is right. Thus, a judge’s decision may not reflect what either of you wanted.
After you and your spouse cool off, you may realize the two of you are the only ones who know what each party sacrificed for the marriage. It is only those who have an intimate knowledge of an issue that can reach a truly fair agreement. In the case of a divorce, only you and your spouse have the knowledge needed to reach the fairest of settlements.
Conclusion: You know best.
