Don’t publicly slam your spouse!

A woman called Tricia Walsh Smith posted a YouTube video in which she trashes and humiliates her husband. The video is so very tasteless that I have decided not to tarnish my blog by posting it here.

Most people do not go to Ms. Smith’s extent in a bitter divorce. However, emails to a spouse’s friends and family explaining why one’s spouse is a jerk are relatively common (at least in Chicago). The internet has made it too easy for an angry person to reach a huge amount of people with just the press of a button.

If you find yourself tempted to publicly lash out at your spouse, keep in mind that what people will see, read or hear might be out of context. If you tell your friend that your spouse is a “lowlife philanderer” your friend understands the context in which you are saying this. Your friend understands that you are lashing out because of the pain of the divorce or how much your spouse has made your suffer. However, if you send out a mass email slamming your spouse, whoever reads it will not have the proper context in which to analyze your statement.

That is why it is so important for people to have someone to talk to when they are going through a difficult divorce. Sometimes we need to vent. That’s what family, friends and counselors are for. If people don’t have a support network, they might vent in socially inappropriate ways that they will later regret.

Ms. Smith is from England but is living in New York. Although she has money, it is possible that she does not have many friends or family to help her through the difficult times. Maybe she had friends before but has alienated them with her bitterness. Regardless, she should have sought the help of a counselor instead of seeking pity from internet strangers.

Conclusion: Never, ever lash out at your spouse in a way you can’t take back.