I just came across this Boston Globe Article by a man who has seen too many divorces in his life:
When I was born, my dad’s mom was already remarried to a divorced man, who became my grandpa. And my dad’s dad married a new woman – already divorced twice from the same man – who became my grandma; that pair are now divorced from each other. My mom’s parents also re-coupled with other divorced people…
Despite having seen first-hand his relatives’ inability to maintain longstanding marriages, he still believes in love and plans on staying forever with his wife:
I want to shout from the rooftops: “It won’t happen to me! I’ve learned from their mistakes! I’m different!” And I think I am. I certainly hope so. We don’t need any more forks in our family tree.
Conclusion: This guy hasn’t given up on love. You shouldn’t either.
There are few things more detrimental to a divorce proceeding than a very bitter spouse. Judges are experts at picking up the bitterness. Any motion or demand made by the bitter party will be viewed with distrust. Thus, it is very important in a divorce to have control of your emotions – if only to keep the judge on your side.
If you are like 90% of divorcing people and are having anger issues about the divorce, it may help to speak with a therapist. A therapist will help you analyze your situation and work through your emotions. This, in turn, will help your divorce proceed more smoothly.
Conclusion: Bitterness can only hurt you.
While your family and friends can give you support in a divorce, they may not be able to give you the insight you need to solve a difficult conflict with your spouse. The help of a therapist can be very useful in these situations.
For example, lets say your spouse is making clearly unreasonable demands during the divorce. Your therapist might ask you how you resolved conflicts in the past, how your spouse reacted when he/she was hurt…etc. By analyzing yourself and your relationship with your spouse, you may be able to get through to them.
Conclusion: Therapy can help you even if your spouse is the one who really needs it.
I was just surfing the web and came across a post from Darn Divorce about a wedding ring coffin. Apparently, an entrepreneur has successfully tapped into people’s need to bury the bad memories.
My feeling is that if you want to bury the past, go ahead, but a matchbox will do the trick just as well. Regardless of whether you choose a matchbox or a coffin, I recommend pawning your expensive ring and substituting a cheap (symbolic) one.
Conclusion: There are may ways to put the past behind.
