There is a lot of controversy about Parental Alienation Syndrome. This is when one parent tries to turn the children against another parent. Some experts claim PAS does not exist. Others claim it is a mental illness.
Although I am unsure that PAS is such a specific ailment that it should be considered a mental illness, I have no doubt that sometimes children get caught up in the animosity of a bitter divorce. Even the most devoted parent may be unable to shield the child from the anger they feel toward the other parent. For example:
Imagine your child has a precious new teddy bear given to him by your ex. Your child loves the teddy bear.
If you are angry at your ex, you might not show the teddy bear the full love it deserves. You may throw the teddy bear on the couch rather than sitting it upright. Or you may absentmindedly stuff it in the toy box instead of setting it up in the child’s bed.
Your child will notice this and be hurt. He may even fear that by loving the teddy bear he is betraying you.
Of course, the example above is a very mild form of parental alienation. However, it does show how even a good and caring parent can make a child feel that he has to choose sides.
Thus, if you are a parent, it is very, very important that you overcome your negative feelings toward the other parent as quickly as possible. Your children spend a great deal of time with you and they are experts at reading your emotions. Even if you don’t say anything, your child will know when you are angry at the other parent.
Conclusion: Work through your anger quickly.
The first Mother’s Day after a divorce can be awkward. In Chicago most Parenting Agreements include a clause that the children will spend Mother’s Day with their mother. Apart from this, however, few parent’s give Mother’s Day much thought until the day arrives. Here are some 